Too often people struggle with self identity. Even when you know what you want in life and feel happy there is still a small voice questioning your tactics. As I had stated in my previous post, I believe this is due to society'expectations of us. Society puts way too many specifics out there. Like the perfect way to parent, the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect marriage, if you are religious you have a certain expectation to uphold......all according to society.
Have you ever been called a hypocrite? Or have you had another married couple diagnose your marriage as a failure? Or how about the all too famous "perfect parent" guidelines?
I used to criticize myself for not staying home with my children and choosing a career. My marriage had problems, I feed my children fast food, I didnt breastfeed my son, I let my baby taste sweet tea, and wait for it.........I drank red wine occasionally.......... while pregnant......in a bar.
Going off of what I just stated you would think I am a horrible mother and wife. Reality is my husband and I have made it to almost 14 years and are stronger than ever, my children all belong to my husband, I make decent money to help provide a better life for my children, I didnt breast feed my son because I was scared of failing, I went to a bar with family for dinner complimented with a glass of wine.
A lot of times people just do not care to hear your full story in life, not that its any of their business really. But it still can be upsetting and make you feel less than because of the expectations and also people not caring to know your situation fully.
I have beat myself up so bad over the years for not being a stay at home mom to my 3 children, I blame myself for my son's disabilities. And even though I am an extremely positive person, I have my bad days. I curse, I yell sometimes and God forgive me, I have used that devil of a middle finger a couple of times for my dreaded road rage (that one is a struggle for me lol). But afterwards I feel so horribly guilty that sometimes I cry. I cry because I want to help people not be angry. But truth is, WE ARE ALL HUMAN. We were designed to feel every emotion available to us. Anger, sadness, happiness, stress, etc.
In my years of self discovery, I have come to realize that EVERYONE has skeletons in their closet. That married couple who talked down about my marriage, the wife would hide in the basement and smoke weed. The other married couple who put me down as a wife, has not slept in the same bedroom for many years. That mother who put me down for not breastfeeding, goes out drinking every weekend and drops their child off with a babysitter.
We are all human. Don't ever let anyone in this world make you feel like the life you have chosen is wrong. As long as your children are happy and cared for, follow your dreams, fight to accomplish your life goals and be happy! If we all stayed in the same position in life because we are afraid of standing out in life and going against what others would do, then we would never have some of the most amazingly famous people in history that we do. They took a path not taken, they swam against the current and they followed and accomplished their dreams.
You have just one life, don't waste it. There is a beauty in the world that I have discovered by taking my own path. It is a beauty that I never imagined. It was NOT easy. As a matter of fact the 2 years that I decided I needed to work on me were probably thee most difficult years of my entire life. But it was worth it and I would not change a thing.
So please do not pay attention to the critics. We are all human. There is no perfect marriage, there is no perfect parent, religious people have bad days and we all will eventually "fail" at something. But failure is just a learning experience and bad days make us stronger. Life is full of trial and error and learning lessons. Learn from these moments, take it in, stand out, love yourself, free yourself and you will reach an amazing moment in life that you never thought you could.
Xoxo
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